Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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