I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
