The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
