i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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