I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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