PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
