I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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