i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
