and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you guys were way drunker than both of me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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