They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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