...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
