if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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