So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
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