Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
