is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
