did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize