I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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