used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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