forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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