i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
