I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize