i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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