Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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