Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
