onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
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I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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