dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
