well you can't waste a boner
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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