I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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