So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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