Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
