I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
