My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
