dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
