I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize