Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
