Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
