ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
