I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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