There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
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you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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