things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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