ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
