I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
