well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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