I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
tell me about the fingering
Randomize