I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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