I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
