she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize