i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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