I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
