we have pet lesbian snakes
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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