So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
