so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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