Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
did i just pee glitter
I think people are normalizing furries
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
